A Thoughtful Question and Answer with J. Aniston

A Thoughtful Question and Answer with J. Aniston

Through a maze of contacts, I chanced upon the email address of Jennifer Aniston. I proposed a question and answer session with her for my column. I thought, considering her tumultuous press, Ms. Aniston might want the opportunity to engage in some serious and thought-provoking dialogue. She did. I suppose I caught her at the right moment (she’s currently staying in a haunted hotel in Portland). She made only one demand: the interview would be conducted via email. She didn’t have time for a sit down. No problem, I wrote to her. I didn’t want to fly across the country anyway. I then submitted questions to her. She answered and I followed up. What follows is that interview in its essentially unedited form.

Q: Hello, Ms. Aniston. Nice to meet you. I want to start with the root of the matter. From where I sit, you seem like the loneliest woman in the world. You seem boxed in by the press, boxed in by your fame, boxed in by your image. What do you think of how you’re perceived by the world?

Aniston: I don’t spend a great deal of time reading my press. You know more about it than I do.

Q: Well, that might be true. I did search through the full Aniston public record in order to prepare for this interview. Here's what I found. You’re slammed for the roles you take. You’re slammed for your choices in men. You’re slammed for your choices in dress. You’re slammed for your behavior. You’re slammed for revealing too much skin in magazines. You’re slammed when you don’t reveal too much skin in magazines. Only your choice in hairstyle seems to be above the fray.

Aniston: It goes with the territory.

Q: Why do you think there’s so much negative publicity?

Aniston: I don’t know.

Q: My research into you seems to suggest that the general public thinks that you didn’t pay your dues. You just kind of lucked into Friends and your life has been golden ever since – with the exception of your breakup. What are your thoughts?

Aniston: Of course I paid my dues. I worked as a telemarketer. I worked as a bike messenger. I couldn’t get a job in Hollywood. I was ready to quite when Friends came along.

Q: By the way, I loved you in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. I was a teenager when that film came out. I think a whole population of male teenagers styled themselves after Ferris.

Aniston: Okay.

Q: Let’s play a hypothetical. Where would your life have gone had Friends not come your way?

Aniston: I don’t know. I had this alternate career in my head. A fantasy, really. I wanted to be a real estate agent

Q: Wow. That’s not in any of the literature. Why real estate?

Aniston: It’s a helping profession.

Q: A helping profession? What, like nursing you mean?

Aniston: Not quite like nursing. You’re doing a service for people; you’re driving around all day in your car; you’re on the phone constantly. It’s a lot like auditioning.

Q: Did you ever pursue your real estate license?

Aniston: No. Close. My agent called with a role, a character named Monica Geller.

Q: The role that eventually went to Courtney Cox?

Aniston: Yes. I didn’t really like the role. But I instantly fell in love with Rachel Green.

Q: Do you think you would have been a good Monica Geller?

Aniston: I think C.C. (Courtney Cox) was the best Monica Geller possible.

Q: Had the producers not offered you the Rachel Green role, what would you have done?

Aniston: I would be known as Monica.

Q: Let me just say a word about Friends and maybe you’ll respond. Essentially the show ignored the real world. 9/11 occurs, the show is set in New York, and yet there’s not even a mention of the tragedy. The president could have been assassinated and Friends would have been all about Joey’s sandwiches and Phoebe’s psychic dalliances. How can a show ignore all the realities of the day? Why weren’t the characters ever affected by real events?

Aniston: Why would the show be about current news? You want current news, watch CNN. Was Seinfeld about current news? Was Will and Grace about current news? Friends was about relationships. That’s why it was called Friends.

Q: Fair enough. Let’s move on. Let’s go back to the way I started. There’s the public image of you – carefully cultivated, I would think, by you and your people, but also impacted by circumstances completely outside of your control – and there’s the private image of you. How are they different?

Aniston: I’m basically a shy person, an introvert. I don’t think the public knows that.

Q: No, I don’t think the public knows that either. Is it hard to be a shy person in Hollywood? From the outsider’s perspective, Hollywood seems to be about who’s the loudest, who’s the most glamorous, who’s willing to show the most skin.

Aniston: It’s not as hard as you might think. You hire a publicist to shout for you.

Q: You’ve hired a publicist named Stephen Huvane. I read that he is dating, or married perhaps, to a man named Steven. Doesn’t that strike you as odd, two men with the same name getting together?

Aniston: No, not really.

Q: I mean, what if they’re on the phone. “Hi, Steve. This is Steve.” Isn’t that confusing? How do you know who’s talking to whom? How do you know which Steve is doing the calling and which Steve is doing the answering?

Aniston: Really? Is this a serious question?

Q: Let’s switch topics. What are you doing now? I mean, professionally?

Aniston: I’m shooting a new movie. I just arrived. The filming begins tomorrow.

Q: You say that you just arrived? What city are you in?

Aniston: Portland.

Q: Portland, Oregon? I went to college there. What do you think of it?

Aniston: I can’t really say. I just arrived. Also, with these sorts of schedules, I won’t have time to see any of the city. My hotel’s haunted.

Q: Is that a serious statement?

Aniston: Yes. I guess there are some rooms in which crazy things happen.

Q: Crazy things like what?

Aniston: Ghosts coming and going. (Aniston was referring to The Heathman Hotel. According to Jarvis Jolley, an assistant manager at The Heathman, all the rooms ending in “03” are haunted. “A psychic once got the sense that someone jumped from room 803,” Jolley told me. “The guy, I guess, passed by all the ‘03’ rooms on the way to his death. There certainly have been mysterious phenomena in all of those rooms. But the ghost is nice.” Rather than asking about “mysterious phenomena” or the “nice” ghost, I switched topics. I asked Jolley, “Is Jennifer Aniston staying in a room that ends in ‘03’?” His response was bureaucracy at its dullest. “That I can’t tell you,” he said.)

Q: Have you personally seen any mysterious phenomena?

Aniston: No.

Q: Do you believe in the paranormal?

Aniston: Yes. I grew up in New York. I live in Los Angeles. It’s all paranormal to me.

Q: That sounds like a good advertising schematic to me, if any small town wants to grow its population. “Escape L.A. Escape New York. We’re paranormal free.” Had you become a real estate agent, you might have done well with this slogan.

Aniston: That’s funny.

Q: Thanks. Let’s switch topics. I read that you snuck into Brad Pitt’s latest movie, under the cover of a baseball cap. Is that true?

Aniston: Well I wouldn’t say I snuck in. I love Brad Pitt films. There’s usually a great story.

Q: Did you like the story (The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford)?

Aniston: It wasn’t the best. He was good.

Q; What about that title? That’s an audience killer right there. Imagine two guys going to see a movie. “Hey, Bro, let’s go see The Assassination of Jess…” See, he doesn’t even get through the first name. They go see The Bee Movie.

Aniston: That’s funny.

Q: Thanks. Can we talk a little bit about your romantic life? You’re coming off a brutal breakup. Are you still grieving the end of the relationship?

Aniston: I’m over it.

Q: How did you grieve?

Aniston: What do you mean?

Q: What kinds of things did you do to deal with the pain?

Aniston: I did a lot of yoga. I got into meditation. I went to see a truly wonderful therapist.

Q: Yes, I think that’s when therapists can do amazing work, during grief counseling.

Aniston: My therapist helped me to see the total picture of the relationship. In the beginning of my grief, I was so focused on what I’d lost. I didn’t see the realities of the relationship. We’d been breaking up for a long time.

Q: I understand. In retrospect, how do you feel you handled that period of your life?

Aniston: Oh, of course I’m embarrassed about a few incidents. I won’t go into them here but, yes, I would take them back if I could. I can’t though. There’s only one direction you can go. Forward.

Q: True enough. It strikes me that there are two very distinct ways to grieve the loss of love. One is to spend an extended period in singularity, not dating, focused almost supremely on the internal. The other is to date a lot. From what I read, you date a lot.

Aniston: I don’t know what “a lot” means. I date. Why shouldn’t I? It helps to have companionship. Haven’t you ever been through a really hard grieving period?

Q: I have.

Aniston: How did you handle it?

Q: Like you. I got into some therapy. I did yoga.

Aniston: You didn’t seek out companionship?

Q: Yes and no. Not human companionship. But I had my dog and he acted as a fine friend. You know, he was always there. Anyway, there is talk that your relationship ended because you didn’t want children.

Aniston: That’s ridiculous. It’s just some stupid story created by the press.

Q: There’s nothing wrong with not wanting children, you know?

Aniston: I want children.

Q: From where I sit, it sounds like you’re protesting too much.

Aniston: I just wrote three little words – I want children. How is that protesting too much?

Q: It’s not the three words. It’s the verb. It’s a hungry verb. Well, I could be wrong. Let’s switch topics. Politically, where do you stand?

Aniston: I’m a registered Democrat.

Q: Do you have a favorite among the field of Democrats currently seeking the office of the president?

Aniston: I have two. Obama and Hillary.

Q: What do you like about them?

Aniston: Obama is very thoughtful. We don’t usually get thoughtful politicians.

Q: And Hillary?

Aniston: Hillary’s Hillary. Tough, super smart, a political animal. Her gender is a big plus.

Q: There’s an awful lot of negative political spin regarding Hillary. She’s like the Aniston of the political set.

Aniston: Well, I know not to believe the media.

Q: Will you come out and endorse the Democratic nominee?

Aniston: I don’t know. I certainly will support the nominee.

Q: Financially, you mean?

Aniston: Yes.

Q: Let’s go back to an earlier topic. You said that you love Brad Pitt films. Did you see Mr. And Mrs. Smith?

Aniston: Yes.

Q: What did you think of it?

Aniston: Well, I’m probably not the best person to give a review.

Q: Why, because of the Jolie thing? I disagree. I think that makes you a great person to give a review.

Aniston: What are you talking about, the Jolie thing? No, I was one of the writers.

Q: Are you serious?

Aniston: Yes. I mean, there were like twenty writers by the time the whole script was finished but I was one of them.

Q: Wow. That’s not in the literature. I didn’t know that you wrote scripts, too.

Aniston: How did you not know that? That’s all I do. Of course, not now. What with the strike set to start tomorrow.

Q: The strike?

Aniston: Yes, I’m a member of the Writers Guild of America.

Q: You are? I would think you would be a member of SAG (Screen Actors Guild)?

Aniston: Why? I’m not an actor.

Q: Are you serious? There’s a scoop. “Jennifer Aniston is not an actor.” Sounds like good tabloid fare. “Jennifer Aniston is really a paranormal real estate agent in Tiny Town, America.”

Aniston: I’m not Jennifer Aniston.

Q: You’re not Jennifer Aniston?

Aniston: No, I’m Jack Aniston. No relation.

Q: Really? Well, have you ever met Jennifer Aniston?

Aniston: Yes. I mean, briefly. Well, my career has shadowed hers, in a sense.

Q: In what sense?

Aniston: I got my first job on Friends.

Q: You were a writer for Friends?

Aniston: No. I worked as in intern at the tail end of the last season. If you don’t believe me, you can ask Matt (LeBlanc, played the character Joey). I got him coffee all the time. He drank it real sweet.

Q: That’s okay. I believe you. And now?

Aniston: After the success of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, I got hired as a writer for this new film, Management.

Q: Which stars Jennifer Aniston.

Aniston: Yes. I hope this doesn’t ruin your interview.

Q: Well it does offer a slightly different slant to things. Why didn’t you tell me sooner – I’m up against a deadline and now I have to go to print with this?

Aniston: Honestly, I didn’t catch on until just a little while ago. You have to remember, there’s a three-hour time difference between the coasts. It’s early here. I haven’t finished my first cup of coffee.

Q: Jack, I referred to you as Ms.

Aniston: Once. And I thought that was a typo. You know, the “r” and “s” are pretty close to each other on the keyboard.

Q: And the alternate career path?

Aniston: Well, I was being somewhat facetious. I did like my analogy, comparing real estate to auditioning.

Q: Jack, all of my questions went specifically to her life.

Aniston: Really? I didn’t notice. We’ve all been through really hard breakups. By the way, you’re wrong on the Ferris Bueller thing. Jennifer Aniston didn’t star in the movie. She starred in the short-lived spin-off on television. But I agree with you. As a teenager, I certainly wanted to be Ferris. That guy got away with everything.

Q: So then you did notice. Are you really staying in a haunted hotel?

Aniston: Yes. I mean, no. I mean, I arrived today but I’m leaving tonight.

Q: Why?

Aniston: I told you, the writer’s strike. I’m going back to Los Angeles to join the picket line. I’d appreciate it if you, as a writer, supported us in some way.

Q: What can I do?

Aniston: Boycott the movies.

Q: But what happens if you’re on strike for a long time? What happens if this latest movie with Jennifer Aniston comes to the theaters? Don’t you as the writer need the commercial success?

Aniston: There are more important things than commercial success, Brian. Picket lines, for instance.

Q: Fine, but can I ask you one favor?

Aniston: Of course.

Q: If you should see Jennifer Aniston, will you please get her email address for me? I have some questions for her.

A note to readers: janiston@yahoo.com is not the email address of Jennifer Aniston. However, if you’re as upset with Jack Aniston as I am, feel free to bombard him with hate mail.

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The Gonzo Journalism of Brian Josepher

A Thoughtful Question and Answer with J. Aniston