Why I'm destined to be an old maid.

So a week or so ago I’m flipping through the weekly reader and come across a dating company’s ad. It has all of these statistics listed about a woman alone in a bar. The one that catches my eye is the one that says 50 to 1 she’s single. This startles me, and I think, this can’t be right. I read it over and over thinking I must be misunderstanding it. If anything, in the news I’ve been seeing stuff about marriage being on the decline. So I go home later and I google, "How many women are single in America." I come across the U.S. Consensus bureau website and find that 31% of women between the ages of 16 to 34 are single. "Single" including couples that live together, married couples that live apart, widows, and lesbians. So based on this I guess I really am the rare woman out of 50. Who knew?

Later in the week I read something about tallconnections.com and later decide to google how many men are over 6’ in America. Turns out only 16% of men are over 6’ tall. Great! I’m just narrowing down my odds as I go here.

Just as I’m damning myself for having a pension for the 6’ and above crowd I come across the female mind in the bookstore. I sit down to explore the book and find good news. Apparently, who I am attracted to has nothing to do with my personal choices, but was decided by my ancestors long ago. The books theory is that ancestors were preoccupied with reproduction and were looking for the most worthy of providing food and shelter. So when my body has a chemical reaction to a guy it’s because it’s who my great (x20) grandmother picked out for me. The book goes on to tell you what men and women typically look for in each other. Women want a man that is at least 4" taller than her (In my case 7" or more) 3.5 years older, and able to provide for her. The book does point out the fact that women today are becoming increasingly more financially independent, but now a woman wants a man to bring as much to the table as she does. Men on the other hand are attracted simply based on looks.

I know your rolling your eyes and thinking men are pigs. Contrary to some peoples beliefs I’m not a man hater.

Anyways… men are attracted to women who are 2.5" shorter than them, have hourglass figures, clear skin, bright eyes, plump lips and shiny hair. These are signs that a woman is healthy and not pregnant which means that she is an optimal choice for breeding.

Women aren’t gold diggers and men aren’t pigs.

Women became choosy because they needed to choose wisely the man whose baby they were going to lug around for 9 months and beyond. She needed to be sure that after 10 minutes or 3 months he wasn’t going to walk out of her life. She needed to be sure that he was going to be a resource for food, shelter, and water for her and the new baby. Men on the other hand just want to reproduce as much as possible and therefore are looking for any attractive womb. An hourglass figure means she doesn’t have someone else’s bun in the oven and the other signs show that she’s healthy.

So what’s my point with this? It isn’t that it’s not my fault that I’m so picky or not attracted to anyone. Although my proof is above if you need to read it again. My point is that men for the most (yes, let’s be p.c.) part marry because they want to have a family. I am coming to terms with the fact that having children for me due to health reasons may not be the wisest choice.

So what is that, 3 strikes already? 1. Most people aren’t truly single, 2. Only 16% of the male population is over 6’, 3. I’m not prime womb real estate. As the days progress I just keeping finding more and more reasons why I’m single. I’m not even looking for these things, I swear.

I’m checking my email later and I receive email from True.com. I go online to browse at who is available. I’ve been on dating strike, but go on just to prove to myself that I’m not really missing anyone. So I go through the rig-a-ma-roe to see who is out there. Put in my zip there are over 1 billion people in your area it says. Each time I narrow down the search results get smaller and smaller. I put in the regular criteria for myself, over 6’, no kids, makes the same income or more, lives within reasonable distance. Before I entered income I was down to 844. Since I make more than the average median income for my area I doubt my final odds looked very good.

Oh well, what can I say...

Sponsored by EnterTo.com the first REAL spam free email

Click Below to discover and share content from anywhere on the web

This Single Girl's Life

Why I'm destined to be an old maid.