The Top Bad Guys to Avoid Dating

Ladies, we've all been down that path where we were sure that the guy we gave our heart to was perfect in every way...until money always came up missing, strange phone calls from other women 'friends' would surface, he'd confess his love and be gone in the morning out of the blue the next, yada yada yada. We convince ourselves that one burn teaches us our lesson and we most certainly can keep it from happening again, yet somehow, it always does! I've been with a handful of misfits since I was a teenager, and I laugh at the ongoing attempt to get my personal life under control! For my radar to be a bit more mastered, I created a long list of potential not-a-chance pickins' that I like to follow and heed when meeting new prospects. As I've dated a number of "winners" on this list, some, even a few of these misters rolled into one, it's highly recommended that you carefully note each of these men for their traits, and learn the signs to avoid future flops of your own.

Mr. Happy Pants - the infamous cheater

Most women at some point will meet this remarkable character, and by remarkable, I'm meaning it's an achievement he gets clothed at all due to his excessive desire to always be running loose like an uncaged zoo animal dying to spread his man juice to any woman willing to give it up! Unfortunately for us, sometimes this little devil is a bad mistake disguised as every womans fantasy. He can be so incredibly charming, of course it's easy not to see through the fog of his obvious indiscretions and disregard of women being nothing more than a warm body to fulfill his sexual urges. Steer clear of this Romeo if he's caught in the act, or there's even the slightest notion you believe he is tramping around on you.

Mr. Ego - by being so in love with himself, there's no room for you

Move over sister! There's only room for two at this table; your guy and his oversized noggin. Being one part of a couple is a hard lesson for this one to be taught, as he sees that it's pretty much impossible for anyone to match up with his greatness as it is! He's got the perfect job, killer looks, a posse that deems him the Ladies man of the pack, and a bounty of other wonderful lucky charms that has his mojo going at full speed. Oh sure, you can catch his interest by feeding into his self loving ways and he'll adore you for it! However, once you start to notice how one sided this jerk really is, by his neglecting to return your loving admiration, and how little he cares that you even matter, you'll only feel like a fool for being the bystander to this one man show and be just another peanut in his gallery of blinded followers.

Mr. Big - the one afraid of committment

Oh, if it wasn't for Sex and the City, this guy would be a recurring roleplayer in my love life! He has the suaveness of James Bond with the face and body to match. Wine and dining, a little mystery, the perfect words that keep you hanging on for more...damn he's good at being, well, Big! Yes, the progression of the relationship moves forward, but always at a slow pace to his liking, and it's a shame he will keep you on edge for as long as you allow him to. Maybe in the movie, this stallion was tamed, but you do remember that it took him a decade to come around right? And not only that, it was just a movie, and most free birds like Big stay on the green pastures away from being roped into anything permanent, EVER. If you're dating the guy who manages to have an excuse to never build onto a future with you, send him packing and go find find a real man.

Mr. Sensitive - emotional to the extent sometimes it's hard to believe he isn't a girl himself

It can be nice to sit down and watch a movie that brings out the softee in all of us. It's wonderful, as women, to be in touch with our emotions and happily share our sobs to our Man so he can kiss our boo boos and make'em all better. But what happens when he's the one getting a little too girly that he makes you look like one tough cookie? In the beginning of courtship, we can be so glad to finally meet a guy who gets it and isn't afraid to be open about his feelings, that it's seen as endearing and 'cute' behavior. Out of nowhere, he's the one shedding tears out of fear of rejection, persistently wanting reassurance that you're happy with him, calling you a hundred times while your at work just because he needs to hear your voice one more time before he sees you again later that night. His sensitivity is overwhelming, and gets old real fast! There's no wrong in a guy bearing his sweeter side, but in good moderation and in a non femboy manner is best.

Mr. Fib - the liar who tells you how it is (well, what he believes you want it to be)

I would have called, but I wasn't near a phone. I was visiting my sick grandmother. I have no idea where your twenty bucks went. Any of these hit a little too close to home? Who needs honesty when you can be a good liar and get away with murder, right? After all, only nice guys finish last! This guy has the answers to all your dying to be solved mysteries, they're just never the right and truthful ones. It's calming to know that he's there for you...or is he? This guy will always appear to have the magic words to put your worried mind at ease, but little do you know that the reasons he headlines with are only being pulled right out of his ass. He knows it, and better yet, he's positive you're going to keep buying into his storytelling because you have yet to actually get a clue. If you find that this seemingly too good to be true, amazingly sweet guy has the mastery to an ongoing cop out of every problem you bring to light, chances are he's two faced and soaking up the glory that you blindly welcome his treachery.

Mr. ZipZip - keeps feelings, problems, concerns to himself

Guys are not commonly expected to open up as much and share what's on their mind when it comes to being in a serious relationship. In fact, this guy takes it to the extreme by never letting you in on any problems he's having with you because he wouldn't be a man if he had a softer side and shared his anguish aloud. This one is easy to spot when you're the one kicking off conversation to discuss where things are headed and he's drowning you out by the sunday night football he'd rather focus his ears and eyes on. You'll think maybe he's just not feeling like talking right now, until it's been over a handful of attempts to get him in tune only to realize this guy ain't budging an inch to verbalize important couple problems with you any time soon. He's going to expect you to handle all baggage to keep the relationship afloat because that's just the part of your union that the woman is supposed to handle.

Mr. EyeBaller - his attention wanders to you...and every other hottie in his line of vision

Wasn't it a thrill when that hunk of a man laid his eyes on you and made you feel on top of the world? Who believed someone so physically appealing actually existed, and better yet, noticed you right back? Sitting across from him at your regular table at his favorite local hangout, you're locking eyes and doing most of your sexy talk through visual communication....until his gaze happens to wander over to the cute new waitress taking orders at the table next to you. And the milf that comes strolling in with her three year old toddler. And the scandily clothed 21 year old sipping a latte in a booth around ten feet behind where you're sitting. Sure boys will be boys when comes to the matter of oggling the female species, it's in their dna to be drawn to all attractive specimens in plain sight. But when your man can't seem to retain his focus on you longer than five minutes because the stunning beauty of every other woman alive is too much for him to handle, there could be a problem tying this one down. It's the old case of there's always someone better for him to gawk at, as long as you're not putting a stop to this pig.

Mr. SourPuss - burned by his past relations, he's just sure that all women are bad news

She was a horrible girlfriend to him. He did everything right. He was in love, and she was sleeping with his best friend. Scorched by his old flame (or flames depending on how many did him wrong), this guy is convinced that every woman is a cheating whore. You feel his pain and profess that you would never be the type of woman he's used to falling for because you're different. Unfortunately with this one, you will always be paying the price for what the last girl did since he just can't move on from it. If you can hang in there through his continual accusations and pessimistic rants that most if not all women don't know how to keep there legs closed, more power to ya!

Mr. Blast For His Past - keeps his Ex (or Exes) on pedestals making it impossible for you to ever measure up

You're basking in a cozy cuddle session with this guy after a wild night of hot and steamy sex. After a few weeks of dating, you're smitten by how someone of such a catch could be single. Then his phone rings, the machine picks it up, and a sultry voice is calling out for your boy toy to come meet her at their usual spot for a cup of joe. You're bewildered at how forward she sounded, and watching him quickly run to pick up before she's gone puts you at an even more puzzled state. Turns out, that was his last lady love calling and they parted ways months ago on such good terms, they've continued pursuing a close friendship in leui of their break up. As you try not to let it get the best of you, he's so pleased at your acceptance with their bond, that shortly after that one incident, she starts to become a more and more frequent disrupter in your relationship with him. She will text cute messages that can only be deciphered from memories they share, you find racy photos of her stashed away in a special box he keeps under his bed, and his defenses ring on high when you hint that their "friendship" seems to be crossing a more personal boundary than he's letting on. These men love to have their prior girlfriends on the back burner to feed their ego and be within a moments reach when things with you head south. This guy will always have a spot in his life for his Ex, and that spot is a hard one to scrub away.

Mr. Hulk - aggressive, tempermental, and just down right mean

He is only upset if the dinner you cooked was a little dry. He only throws a fit if you're not putting out for the fifth time that day. He only calls you names like 'heffer' and pushes you around when he's really upset with you. What?!! This guys' short fuse and cruel demeanor is blatantly obvious, but you really want to believe that you can be the one to get through to his loving heart (it's in there right)?...A self esteem killer and jerk to the core, this loser will always make it his duty to keep you feeling like dirt and still pining for him in the process with fake apologies and 'sincere' affections. As long as he is hating his life and annoyed that he's getting nowhere fast, he's bringing you on the pity party train with him and making you the conductor of boosting his self adoration. This guy is only caring when he wants something out of you, physical or otherwise, you're just the trophy slave to his bad boy ways.

Mr. Rebound - preys on women fresh out of a break up

Another disappointment by another stupid guy. It's a good thing John Doe was there to pick up the pieces of your failed relationship. He's easy to cry your woes to, and the awesome sex you share has the ability to lift your spirits and make you forget all about ol' what's his name because this time, a real guy is actually listening to you. A few days later, you're waiting for his call, telling yourself that he's probably really busy with work to reach you. Another week goes by and no sign of prince charming yet. Didn't you two hit it off? You weren't that wasted when you met him, and he totally hung onto your every word when divulging the details of your recent bitter end with that mistake you dated up until recently. Somehow, it just doesn't hit home that you two could connected so easily, yet he's off somewhere else leaving you wondering if you built the whole crazy encounter inside your mind instead? No, it's just the typical bar hopper who scopes out the one girl too far gone to realize his game of targeting out the ones right out of a bad break up and into his bed. The only way to escape this guys grasp is to avoid public intoxication at any nearby party town in the midst of recent splitsville.

Mr. Midnight Cowboy - booty calling is his game

Casual sex can work for a lot of single people, unless you're single and looking for Mr. Right. Maybe this guy is an aquaintence you met through friends, or a smooth talking hipster you met last weekend while waiting for the bus. His plan always entails reaching you at oddball hours (usually late night at a moments notice) and making some excuse to dodge out before daylight breaks and be seen leaving your apartment. It isn't rocket science to know when this guy shows up in your life because mangling the sheets is the only activity you will find the two of you sharing.

Mr. Mamas Boy - with the cord still attached, this guy isn't letting go

You will know how good a man will be to you by how he treats his mother, so the saying goes. That is, unless he's 25, still living under mamas' roof and she's still doing his laundry. There's something to be said when a guy and his mother seem too close for comfort. He won't do anything that his mother won't approve of, they speak to each other on the phone every day, and he complains when you just can't be more like her! When a boy who calls himself a man is still "suckling the bosom" of his over protective, loud mouthed, warmingly affectionate mother, he's got no room for another lady in his life (unless you're willing to wipe his ass too)

.Mr. Short Change - this guy always leaves you footing the bill

Movie and dinner night, followed by a few drinks at a nearby watering hole. Did you happen to notice that when your guy casually states the fact that he's left his wallet (for the third time this week), there's no trace of embarassment on his face? That's because while you're shelling out the green for the both of you, he's enjoying the notion that you don't mind him always stiffing you with the bill because hey, you keep paying! Sure he's apologetic and promising to 'get the next one', but isn't it funny how it repeats itself anyway? A real man will happily pay for a great time with his woman the majority of the time, it's just the chivolrous thing to do. If you agree to dating a guy that never seems to have or offer a dime to spare, he's using you as his meal ticket until his personal piggy bank cuts off his supply. Avoid this lamo and his endless excuses of a "non existent" cash flow.

Mr. Good and Taken - he has a girlfriend already, or even a wife

Oh yes, he's leaving her, next month in fact. He can't right now because it would be too painful for the kids to bear. He just needs to set some money aside and get things in order. He can't stand how horrible she is to him, but it wouldn't be right just yet to ask for a divorce because the family dog just died and everything. This guy is a piece of work by having his cake, eating it too, and even going after seconds! He'll be honest with you about being involved at the moment, but you're the best thing that could have happened to him, and he doesn't want to let you go. Maybe if you wait it out another two years, the bitch will be out of the picture for good. Don't make any bets on this one. A guy who's already in a committed relationship rarely leaves the life he had before you came along, you're just the hot piece he can run to when things get a little rocky with the Mrs. Once the words "I have a girlfriend and/or wife" leaves his lips, you should be high tailing it out of there and shacking up with a guy free from any serious ties.

Mr. Hot and Cold - seriously interested one day, pulling away the next

Finally, a guy that is true to his word when he shows up like he said he will. Finally, a guy that lives by the motto of treating his woman like the queen that she is. But tomorrow, he's pushing you for some space of his own. He's all of a sudden feeling that things are moving way too fast with you. What brings on these radical mood swings? A number of sources ; a bad day at work, pressure from his buddies, astrological disalignment, the possibilities are endless! We can all have our bad days and feel a little blue once in a while, but this guys flops around his desires for you like an indecisive kid at a candy shop.

Mr. QuickDraw - already planning your wedding before a longer courtship

Women are known to see a happy future far quicker than their guy is, it's just who we are. But there's a small breed of guys roaming the planet with names for the children you could be having with him after only knowing each other for a couple weeks. Yes, we want to feel like our man sees us as his wife to be someday down the line, but doesn't that kind of talk freak you out before having the chance to order dessert on date two with this guy? I'd be questioning the motives as to why he's trying so hard to settle down so fast.

Mr. Rebel - gets his thrills by bad and even illegal behavior

Bad boys get all the ladies, it's a given. We're drawn to his passiveness for common decency because he just makes it look so good, and usually because he's just damn good looking! So what if that pretty piece of jewelry he gave you was through a five finger discount? Who cares that he uses the freeway like his own nascar raceway when you're riding along? Does it really make a difference that he swears like a sailor and mocks you in front of complete strangers? This twerp will knock your socks off with his scandalous ways, but once your money mysteriously winds up missing from your purse, or he insists that blazing up a daily joint totally rocks more than being with you, his pizazz will be a distant memory when you kick his shameful butt to the curb. This one may never grow up.

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The Mad Cow

The Top Bad Guys to Avoid Dating